Do good, without expecting anything in return ....

I always believe in the principal of 'doing good to others without expecting anything in return', as taught by my father. 
There is an amazing quote I love the most..

"HELPING ONE PERSON MIGHT NOT CHANGE THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT IT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ONE PERSON !!"

According to me, there are FIVE types of people when it comes to helping people - 

1 ➽ He, who always prioritize whom to help and whom not to; basically an opportunist.
2 ➽ He, who considers the times, moments, circumstances, or even relations before helping others; technically an analytical helper.
3 ➽ He, who promises to help others unconditionally, but backs off when the real situation occurs; an untrustworthy person.
4 ➽ He, who is always ready to help others. Portrays the same behaviour and let the surroundings know about their helping nature; a real person. And finally...
5 ➽ He, who understands the helping need from others and without much conversation anticipates to help. He is someone who does not wish to be appreciated, nor even bother for that. He is actually an wise person.

Let me share an interesting story from the Great Mahabharata....

Once Krishna and Arjuna were walking towards a village. Arjuna was pestering Krishna, asking him why Karna should be considered a role model for all Donors (donations) and not himself.

Krishna, wanting to teach him a lesson snapped his fingers. The mountains beside the path they were walking on turned into gold.

Krishna said "Arjuna, distribute these two mountains of gold among the villagers, but you must donate every last bit of gold".

Arjuna went into the village, and proclaimed he was going to donate gold to every villager, and asked them to gather near the mountain. The villagers sang his praises and Arjuna walked towards the mountain with a huffed up chest.

For two days and two continuous nights Arjuna shovelled gold from the mountain and donated to each villager. The mountains did not diminish in their slightest.

Most villagers came back and stood in queue within minutes. After a while, Arjuna, started feeling exhausted, but not ready to let go of his ego just yet, told Krishna he couldn't go on any longer without rest.

Krishna called Karna and told him "You must donate every last bit of this mountain, Karna".

Karna called two villagers. "You see those two mountains?" Karna asked, "those two mountains of gold are yours to do with as you please" he said, and walked away.

Arjuna sat dumbfounded. Why hadn't this thought occurred to him?

Krishna smiled mischievously and told him "Arjuna, subconsciously, you yourself were attracted to the gold, you regretfully gave it away to each villager, giving them what you thought was a generous amount. Thus the size of your donation to each villager depended only on your imagination. Karna holds no such reservations. Look at him walking away after giving away a fortune, he doesn't expect people to sing his praises, he doesn't even care if people talk good or bad about him behind his back. That is the sign of a man already on the path of enlightenment".

Giving with an Expectation of a Return in the form of a Compliment or Thanks is not a Gift, then it becomes a Trade.

➽ The essence of this story is "Always Give Without Expecting Anything in Return !!!"

Self-Development Example - The Cockroach Theory...

When we talk about the self-development we get to see many theories and examples are supported for the subject - some we do remember and some we don't. Being in hospitality industry I remember one brilliant example of self development, which was beautifully depicted by Mr. Sundar Pichai, an IIT-MIT alumnus and today he is the CEO of google. 

He shared the example in form a story. He called it as 'The Cockroaches Theory of Self-Development'....

And here it goes....

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.

She started screaming out of fear.

With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.

When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?

He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

➽ Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond.

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.

A beautiful way to understand LIFE.

Person who is HAPPY is not because Everything is RIGHT in his Life..

He is HAPPY because his Attitude towards Everything in his Life is Right..!!

Do Good ! Be Good ! Feel Good

Manier times people ask me why do good when all we receive is bad? Well, at that moment it is very difficult to convince them, probably because they are undergoing their personal adverse situation, or they have an tragedy experience. I share with them a story and ask them to discover the answer.

Let me share the story again for you all.....

A 6 yr old boy was in the market with his 4 yr old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind. He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.

The boy went back to her and asked, "Do you want something?" 

The sister pointed at the doll. 

The boy held her hand and like a responsible elder brother, gave that doll to her. The sister was very very happy.

The shopkeeper was watching everything and getting amused to see the matured behaviour of the boy.

Now the boy came to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, "What is the cost of this doll, Sir !"

The shopkeeper was a cool man and had experienced the odds of life. So he asked the boy with a lot of love n affection,"Well, What can you pay?"

The boy took out all the shells that he had collected from sea shore, from his pocket and gave them to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper took the shells and started counting as if he were counting the currency. Then he looked at the boy. The boy asked him worriedly,"Is it less?"

The shopkeeper said,"No, No... These are more than the cost. So I will return the remaining." Saying so,he kept only 4 shells with him and returned the remaining. 

The boy, very happily kept those shells back in his pocket and went away with his sister.

A servant in that shop was witnessing the conversation and got very surprised by his master's behaviour. He asked his master, "Sir! You gave away such a costly doll just for 4 shells???

The shopkeeper said with a smile, "Well, For us these are mere shells. But for that boy, these shells are very precious. And at this age he does not understand what money is, but when he will grow up, he definitely will.

And when he would remember that he purchased a doll with the Shells instead of Money, he will remember Me and think that world is full of Good people.

It will help him develop a positive attitude and he too in turn will feel motivated to be Good !"

➽ Mind Mantra - Whatever emotion you infuse into the world, it will further spread. If you do good, goodness will spread. If you do bad, negativity will spread. Realize you are a very powerful source of energy. 

Your good or bad will come back to you magnified. Not in the ways you want it, and probably not in the ways you can imagine or understand it. But it will come back.

So, always DO GOOD ! BE GOOD ! FEEL GOOD !

A Throwback Moment with Unforgettable Memory......

Today while checking my old documents from the previous workplace, I suddenly discovered a picture which was clicked almost 11 years back in 2009 at the T. John Group of Institutions, Bangalore. The moment was captured with my students after a curriculum session was completed. The students were of sixth semester BHM (Bachelors of Hotel Management).

It was a mesmerizing moment where I had most of the young talents to be aspired hoteliers; as I was working then as the senior lecturer for the Hotel Management department.

Today I am so happy that most of them are working abroad in many hospitality segments, touching the sky high.

Having a feel good factor after looking at the above throwback picture.

'Random Act of Kindness'........ An amazing story

How sometimes we all should show the kindness to the people who need our attention. I was undergoing an article recently and found an interesting story on 'Random Act of Kindness'. It got stuck in my mind and I remembered that when I was in Bangalore I did the same to someone in almost similar way.

Let me take you through the story..........

A man often bought oranges from an old lady in an open market.

After they were weighed, paid for and put in his bag, he would always pick one from his bag, peel it, put a segment in his mouth, complain it's sour and pass on the orange to the seller.

The old lady would put one segment in her mouth and retort, "why, it's sweet," but by then he was gone with his bag.

His wife, always with him, asked, "the oranges are always sweet, then why this drama every time?"

He smiled, "the old mother sells sweet oranges but never eats them herself. This way I get her to eat one, without losing her money. That's all."

The vegetable seller next to the old lady, saw this everyday.

She chided, "every time this man fusses over your oranges, and I see that you always weigh a few extra for him. Why?"

The old lady smiled, "I know he does this to feed me an orange, only, he thinks I don't understand. I never weigh extra. His love tilts the scale slightly every time."

➽ Moral of the story : Life's joys are in these sweet little gestures of love and respect for our fellow beings. Let us always pray to God to grant us the ability to show such amazing kindness and gestures

15 Signs of 'Toxic Work Culture'

I always believe in strong work culture in any organization which will boost the moral of employees, but over the period of time I have experienced how the work culture become toxic.

I was reading through a quote, beautifully written by HOWARD SCHULTZ, CEO - Starbucks

"IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE SOMEONE'S EMPLOYER, THEN YOU HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE DO LOOK FORWARD TO COMING TO WORK IN THE MORNING" 

With my experience, there are 15 signs of 'Toxic Work Culture' which certainly poise the employee's career and growth.

--------------------------------------------------------

1. Office Politics

2. Favoritism and doing partiality are common among leaders

3. Long working hours are taken for granted and appreciated.

4. Team members are not ready to take over the responsibility. Everyone wants to go with flow.

5. Absenteeism among employees are common.

6. Boss is not approachable and no one can dare to approach him/her for any reason.

7. Organization's core values are not reflected at the behaviors of workers.

8. Misuse of company policies.

9. 'Buttering the Boss' is only way to gain the career growth.

10. Feedbacks are not welcomed from team members.

11. Leaders having their own 'spy's across the organization to receive internal news.

12. Raising voice against unethical practices leads to defamation or punishment.

13. Leaders believe in 'micromanaging' for effectiveness, which in turn demotivates the employees.

14. Blame game is very common.

15. Managers in designation use their power to dominate the subordinates 

--------------------------------------------------------

How toxic culture arises in an organization? There are several reasons to it, but the most common factor is 'Poor Leadership Performance'. I remember one of my General Manager cited an example "Fish stinks from head", which was very much appropriate. The primary reason for toxic culture is due to the poor leadership quality shown by the top heads in an organization.

A toxic culture leads to the de-motivation among employees, poor performance by the team and an average performing organization in the competitive market. 

Learn to Appreciate ..... An amazing story...

Today I am going to share a lovely story... LEARN TO APPRECIATE

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very helpful, kindhearted, and generous. He was a man who will help someone without asking anything to pay him back. He will help someone because he wants to and he loves to.  

One day while walking into a dusty road, this man saw a purse, so he picked it up and noticed that the purse was empty. Suddenly a woman with a policeman shows up and gets him arrested.

The woman kept on asking where did he hide her money but the man replied, “It was empty when I found it, Mam.” The woman yelled at him, “Please give it back, It’s for my son’s school fees.”  The man noticed that the woman really felt sad, so he handed all his money.  He could say that the woman was a single mother.  The man said, “Take these, sorry for the inconvenience.”  The woman left and a policeman held the man for further questioning.

The woman was very happy but when she counted her money, later on, it was doubled, she was shocked.  One day while the woman was going to pay her son’s school fees towards the school, she noticed that some skinny man was walking behind her.  She thought that he may rob her, so she approached a policeman standing nearby.  He was the same policeman, who she took along to inquire about her purse.  The woman told him about the man following her, but suddenly they saw that man collapsing.  They ran at him and saw that he was the same man whom they arrested a few days back for stealing a purse.

 

He looked very weak and the woman was confused.  The policeman said to the woman, “He didn’t return your money, he gave you his money that day.  He wasn’t the thief but hearing about you son’s school fees, he felt sad and gave you his money.”  

Later, they helped the man stand up, and the man told the woman, “Please go ahead and pay your son’s school fees, I saw you and followed you to be sure that no one steals your son’s school fees.”   The woman was speechless.

The lesson from this story is very important for us to learn.

Life gives you strange experiences, sometime it shocks you and sometimes it may surprise you. We end up making wrong judgments or mistakes in our anger, desperation and frustration. However, when you get a second chance, correct your mistakes and return the favor. Be Kind and Generous. 

Learn to Appreciate what you are given.

Relief from a TOXIC Boss !!..

It was almost four and half years I was associated with Accor Group of Hotels in India. I was working as the Head of Learning and Development and worked for three properties of Accor. 

The brand had given me an opportunity to learn new dimension of Training, which I did not experience in my previous brand where I worked earlier. Eventually I was being nominated for 'The Best L&D Manager of the Year' award for Accor India four consecutive times, and in the year 2017 I won the award. Beyond the brand also I was awarded as Best Learning Leader of the Year 2018 by UBS forum in Future of L&D Conference and Awards in Mumbai. 

Now, why am I telling all these here? 

Just to let you know that the brand I was associated with and I was advancing my career with graph steeping high, had surprise for me. When I was in mid of my career success, all of sudden a 'turn' came to my life. I refer it as the 'Black Day' in my life. 

It was mid of June' 2020, when the world was experiencing the pandemic situation and the lock-down initiative by the Government continuing, I was informed by my boss that I was being relived from my work. He (the boss) cited multiple reasons to justify his decision to release me, all were making no sense to me at all at that point of time. I was shocked and surprised on his announcement. 

At some point when I controlled myself from the so called 'Bad News', I literally pleaded as what was my fault? Can't they reconsider the matter? There must be some way out. 

But, I was unheard, my voice was pushed down by citing unethical logic, which was not acceptable at all.

For a moment, I could not understand as why the boss is so adamant, but it took few minutes for me to realize that with whom I was dealing that point.

I have heard from somewhere that...

"Good Employees Never Leave the Company, instead They Leave Because of Their Boss".

The statement proved to be true for me.

My reporting head (boss) and myself was working together for almost one and half year at the last organization. Over the period of time I observed few qualities in him which at times annoyed me, but i could do or say anything as it would not make any sense.

He was damm egoistic, always felt himself that he was the best one and rest all not worthy of HR domain. He never approached to the team members for honest and constructive feedback, since it would backfire him on his behavior. He aimed to push the team members down whoever reports to him. He researched the pattern of influencing the authorities, whom he can butter to get his work done. 

And he found the way, it was the head of organization who heads all the managers and managing the complete show. Day-by-day, he started influencing the head of organization, spending odd times in his office doing no quality work (as witnessed by my colleagues). The pattern was continuing and one point came when this COVID came into existence, he took this situation to axe the employees one by one whom he did not like. 

There were numbers of Dept. Heads who told me and given me the evidences where my boss took personal revenge on people whom he did not like. 

Being in learning and development domain, we had to be approachable to all our team members, so was I. 

Multiple team members used to approach me for counselling and mentoring for their professional and personal problems. As a responsible individual I was trying to solve their concerns and eventually those team members were very happy with me, as I was easily approachable. But this was not acceptable by my boss. He started feeling inferiority of himself and was targeting me to teach a lesson. I could sense his way of talking to me. 

I was bearing this unknown pain for quite long, but I was still happy as the organization was doing well and I was able to contribute to my responsibility at my best always, which in turn brought many success to the organization. I was much appreciated by my team members as well, which was not digested by my boss.

The result now I got. I was shown the Red Card in my job.

It gave me a shock of my life, however after few days I started feeling the relief from such 'TOXIC BOSS'.

I have seen many office politics, anger from colleagues, partiality from team members; I became victim of such things manier times earlier. But I had never experienced such cheap behavior from any professional like this. I am now experienced with a Toxic Boss who can spoil the entire work culture. 

It is now a big lesson learnt in my life journey.